Crissy’s Take on the Industry
Friday, August 11, 2006 22:00Hi Guys!
I just wanted to say I am very sorry about the webcam incidents I have been having lately. The network that I was on was functioning fine for a while until my webmaster tried to test another girls cam and now we have no tech support back from the site. Needless to say we have found a new network that will be used on our own servers so we won’t need any outside tech support once it is set up. I think it might take a little while to set it all up and I am sorry for that but it is very involved. I am hoping at the most I will be back in a week or two and resuming my normal one webcam show a week! I miss you guys! Oh and Roby, no need to email me demanding for me to email you back. I do the best I can but I am not always available to you personally.
I worked for a catfighting website the other day with Celeste Star. Wow she is so pretty!! I felt bad though because I kept being too rough with her on accident. In the catfight scenes we basically have to simulate fighting… you know pulling hair, biting, scratching, etc. I threw her on the bed and she hit the wall and then accidentally hit her face on my hip bone. Then in the second scene I accidentally pushed her chair back and she fell straight back and hit her head again. I felt so bad and just kept telling her how sorry I was. The guys filming kept filming because it was good action but Celeste was a little afraid of me after that incident. She knew it was an accident though and wasn’t made at me. Hopefully I can get her to shoot with me for my site sometime. I think she would be up for it.
My boyfriend went back out of town for a few days to do more stunt work on the show he has been working on for the sci-fi channel. Last night my friend Jaime Hammer came by and we hung out and talked for a few hours. Today I went to spa with >Lisa Daniels and we had facials and massages. It was nice but now my face is burning still! I had a glycolic facial and I guess my face might peel a little for a couple of days. In the end it will look and feel better. It was great to see Lisa. She looked so hot! She was wearing some tight jeans and a white tanktop and just looked sexy as ever even though she had no makeup on!
I have been a little disturbed lately. I have been spending a lot of time online lately reading a porn message board that a lot of other pornstars post on (mostly girls and guys who do gonzo porn). Then today a member of my forum made an interesting post about he was leaving my forum and was not going to look at porn anymore because it started to consume him and he felt that it was poisoning his mind. He also mentioned that a lot of the girls who were doing porn were majorly fucked up mentally and get even more so after being in the industry. I knew what he meant because a lot of the things I had been reading about on this other porn forum and a couple of blogs left me feeling a little upset as well.
When I got into the business I started off topless and started a website while living in Florida. I came to L.A. to do some shooting for magazines and some movies and started doing more explicit stuff. I made a few moves from Florida to San Diego then to Vegas and now I am in L.A. I did some hardcore features with my boyfriend. My scenes reflected me. I was never on any drugs. I did not do over-the-top scenes and I was never abused during my scenes. I had never even really watched a porn before. I thought it was basically two or more people having sex doing the usual 3-4 positions, a blowjob, and a pop shot. Since I have found these message boards and have been reading them I have seen more of the dark side of this business. I am not sure but I think most of these girls are more prevalent in the “gonzo” porn world. From what I have read it sounds like a lot of these girls have come from really bad childhoods and basically get offered the chance to make some good money and they jump at it. They start doing drugs and become addicts and can’t do a scene without the drugs because the scenes they are doing are so degrading. The men are abusing them and donkey punching them or fucking them in their mouths until they throw up while calling them whores. They do more drugs to mask the way they feel. They lose all self worth and stay in the business because it is good money and helps support their drugs habits. I even saw a few clips of a girl who is obviously high on meth or ecstasy and her eyes roll back in her head and she looks totally demonic. I am not saying I have never taken anything because I have but I am not an addict by any means but never when I was working. I saw several clips of this girl like this. I am upset that no one regulates things. It’s the only job you can go to and be fucked up. I am thankful that we are atleast required to be HIV/STD tested withing 30 days of doing a scene but why no restrictions on the drugs? Is it because the comsumers won’t get the type of scenes that they have become used to? I feel so sad for the girls who have had a hard life and start doing porn and are not strong enough to break the cycles they have been going through all their lives and the porn industry does nothing to regulate it. Even when I am at shoots I hear rumors about other porn girls who are currently in the business and doing so many drugs and doing insane things to themselves and being in and out of the hospital from near death experiences and all the while the person who is telling the story is laughing and they are suppose to be their friend! I just don’t get it. How can people be so callous?
It’s just strange to me…
I never realized what a screwed up industry I was in.
Anyway, I am sorry I just had to say what was on my mind.
4 Responses to “Crissy’s Take on the Industry”
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Pero says:
August 12th, 2006 at 8:08 am
I have feeling some of us do feel quilt while consuming the porn …
Nightfly says:
August 12th, 2006 at 5:58 pm
Life’s not just what we do, Crissy, but rather the choices we make as well. No one enslaved those gonzo porn performers, and no one made them do that line of coke or smoke that crack or meth. No one poured that bottle of whiskey down their throat. It’s their choice to do so, and perhaps some self-evaluation as to why they “need” it speaks volumes about the type of “porn” (I don’t think gonzo is porn – to me it’s misogynist abuse) they’re doing.
Besides, in EVERY industry there are people who cannot perform unless they’re high or drunk. I’ve been in banking and finance for years, as well as law and insurance, and trust me, I can’t tell you how many completely chemically-dependent people I’ve known in those professions (as well as others). They can’t function without it. That’s a matter of personal choice and psychological/physiological dependence. It doesn’t justify it, but I’m merely saying that drugged and drunk people exist in every sort of business, and as rampantly as in porn – you just might not see it at first glance.
I think you’re being perhaps a bit harsh on the legitimate porn industry, Crissy, when the real albatross of “adult entertainment” is that gonzo filth. To me, that’s not even porn. It’s borderline criminal in my eyes, and meritless. It’s certainly not a turn-on to me. Why anyone would want to have his penis vomited upon while choking and slapping a woman is absolutely alien to me, and vile.
You’re certainly NOT in THAT industry or business, Crissy. I don’t consider you to even be in the porn business. You’re in “erotica.”
Don’t get down on yourself or your fellow, legitimate models. You’re in a different league of models, Crissy – far and away.
There’s no accounting for taste, and gonzo appears to be here to stay, for now at least. Just as with any sort of fetish, as long as there’s a market, the supply will be there to meet the demand. What’s disturbing in all this is what it says about society, NOT necessarilly about the performers who make gonzo filth.
Society seems to be pushing the envelope further and further, and I for one am proud that there are legitimate, upper-crust, upstanding, principled models like you still in the business of adult entertainment.
That’s why I admire you so, and that’s why I work with and for you. It’s a pleasure, an honor, and a privilege to do so.
– Nightfly
Crissy Moran Message Board Administrator
lil one says:
August 14th, 2006 at 9:24 am
ya i agree with u crissy…. that is very sad but please remember this and it goes for everyday life as well…. “WHAT EVER SITUTATION U ARE IN U MAKE IT WHAT IT IS”…. so it may be a dark industry but that u have not taken part of it…. u are wondeerful all around…. those gurlz choose to do that shit to themselves…. i dont feel bad for them… i am against drugs…. and i hope that u are no longer doing any urself…. i am glad u were honest with us …. … crissy i still luv u just a lil mad i guess u are so much better than all that shit!!!! stay strong and pretty… luv ya 4eva
Amanda Mohr says:
August 30th, 2006 at 9:31 am
Sorry it took me so long to respond. I just finished reading Jenna Jameson’s rather lengthy but fascinating autobiography, “How to… Make Love Like a Pornstar – a Cautionary Tale.” Having just come off the general shock and horror of reading her life, I can appreciate the things you’re referring to here, at least as much as anyone who has been fortunate enough to never experience it can.
And while it may not be the popular opinion, if you find yourself in what you find to be morally dark waters, perhaps a change of lifestyle is in order. While it may not be the popular opinion amongst your many legions of fans, perhaps some time doing something else for a living would help revitalize you, and help you gain/regain a sense of pride in whatever industry you choose. I don’t pretend to know you personally, but I have to imagine a celebrity of your status would have many doors open to her as career paths that may be in fields more to your liking. Alternately, it’s never too late to go back to college and get a degree to prepare you for a career path. Of course, I can imagine the glamour (and the paycheck) of your current position are difficult to give up, but that just takes you back to the timeless question of whether those things do equate to happiness – and whether you could earn them doing something else. I believe I’ve read that you expressed some interest in photography – perhaps spending some time on the other side of the camera would be an enjoyable position.
I don’t pretend to know you well enough to provide specific counsel, but I wish you all the best in tapping into the strength to follow your heart wherever it leads, even when it can be scary, or lonely, or difficult, or when you have legions of fans who have too hard a time giving you up. Best of wishes with your future, however you choose to spend it.