My boyfriend and I broke up a few weeks ago. I have moved into my own place with my dogs and am starting all over once again. My boyfriend was very good to me but I am not sure he is the one for me. Maybe he is and in time we will get back together but maybe he isn’t but I feel the separation is necessary to sort my life out. I miss him a lot and all the fun times we had together. He was the best man I have ever been with. I want more out of life though. I want to get married someday and have a family of my own. I am not sure we are on the same path.

I have just been working on myself lately. I am sorry if it seems I don’t care anymore because I am not posting on my forum and website like I used to. There is so much going on right now that I can’t share with you guys just yet and some stuff I just simply can’t share at all. Just be patient with me and know that it will all work out.

XOXO
Crissy

Right now I am in New Mexico with my man since he now has to work for another 2 weeks. I didn’t have much going on at home and would rather be out here to have fun when he has his days off!

Anyhow, I had some bizarre symptoms happen to me yesterday. I was out running errands and went to the mall with my boyfriend and I got a migraine. I could see see through zig zag lines in my right eye and they were moving around, I got dizzy, and could not speak well or remember things. This went on for about 40 minutes or so. Then I got a splitting headache when the vision thing went away. After about an hour of a headache my tongues started tingling in the went numb on the right side of my mouth. Then that started fading after 3-4 minutes and my bottom lip did the same thing on the right side then the top lip. After a little while that went away and my hand did the same thing starting with my right thumb then going through all my fingers 2 fingers at a time and then ending at my wrist. I still had a headache at the same time and about 20 min after all this numbness surged through me the headache went away. We were at the mall during most of this and I got really panicky and thought about going to the emergency room but I didn’t really want to. I wanted to see if it would just go away and the rest of the day and evening I felt fine. A few friends said it could possibly be because of the high altitude but I didn’t feel this at all the first day I was here. I did some searching on google to see what it could be and it could be a million different things so I don’t know what is going on with me. I called around today to some doctors and the ER and they basically said if it happens again to come in. They said for my age it is pretty unusual but since I feel fine today there isn’t much they can do and it would be better if I would have gone in during the strange episode.

Anyway, my man is at the set doing his thing and I am going to go hang out there in a bit and see what’s going on and take some pics on the set if I can to share.

Have a good day everyone!

I just wanted to say I am very sorry about the webcam incidents I have been having lately. The network that I was on was functioning fine for a while until my webmaster tried to test another girls cam and now we have no tech support back from the site. Needless to say we have found a new network that will be used on our own servers so we won’t need any outside tech support once it is set up. I think it might take a little while to set it all up and I am sorry for that but it is very involved. I am hoping at the most I will be back in a week or two and resuming my normal one webcam show a week! I miss you guys! Oh and Roby, no need to email me demanding for me to email you back. I do the best I can but I am not always available to you personally.

I worked for a catfighting website the other day with Celeste Star. Wow she is so pretty!! I felt bad though because I kept being too rough with her on accident. In the catfight scenes we basically have to simulate fighting… you know pulling hair, biting, scratching, etc. I threw her on the bed and she hit the wall and then accidentally hit her face on my hip bone. Then in the second scene I accidentally pushed her chair back and she fell straight back and hit her head again. I felt so bad and just kept telling her how sorry I was. The guys filming kept filming because it was good action but Celeste was a little afraid of me after that incident. She knew it was an accident though and wasn’t made at me. Hopefully I can get her to shoot with me for my site sometime. I think she would be up for it.

My boyfriend went back out of town for a few days to do more stunt work on the show he has been working on for the sci-fi channel. Last night my friend Jaime Hammer came by and we hung out and talked for a few hours. Today I went to spa with >Lisa Daniels and we had facials and massages. It was nice but now my face is burning still! I had a glycolic facial and I guess my face might peel a little for a couple of days. In the end it will look and feel better. It was great to see Lisa. She looked so hot! She was wearing some tight jeans and a white tanktop and just looked sexy as ever even though she had no makeup on!

I have been a little disturbed lately. I have been spending a lot of time online lately reading a porn message board that a lot of other pornstars post on (mostly girls and guys who do gonzo porn). Then today a member of my forum made an interesting post about he was leaving my forum and was not going to look at porn anymore because it started to consume him and he felt that it was poisoning his mind. He also mentioned that a lot of the girls who were doing porn were majorly fucked up mentally and get even more so after being in the industry. I knew what he meant because a lot of the things I had been reading about on this other porn forum and a couple of blogs left me feeling a little upset as well.

When I got into the business I started off topless and started a website while living in Florida. I came to L.A. to do some shooting for magazines and some movies and started doing more explicit stuff. I made a few moves from Florida to San Diego then to Vegas and now I am in L.A. I did some hardcore features with my boyfriend. My scenes reflected me. I was never on any drugs. I did not do over-the-top scenes and I was never abused during my scenes. I had never even really watched a porn before. I thought it was basically two or more people having sex doing the usual 3-4 positions, a blowjob, and a pop shot. Since I have found these message boards and have been reading them I have seen more of the dark side of this business. I am not sure but I think most of these girls are more prevalent in the “gonzo” porn world. From what I have read it sounds like a lot of these girls have come from really bad childhoods and basically get offered the chance to make some good money and they jump at it. They start doing drugs and become addicts and can’t do a scene without the drugs because the scenes they are doing are so degrading. The men are abusing them and donkey punching them or fucking them in their mouths until they throw up while calling them whores. They do more drugs to mask the way they feel. They lose all self worth and stay in the business because it is good money and helps support their drugs habits. I even saw a few clips of a girl who is obviously high on meth or ecstasy and her eyes roll back in her head and she looks totally demonic. I am not saying I have never taken anything because I have but I am not an addict by any means but never when I was working. I saw several clips of this girl like this. I am upset that no one regulates things. It’s the only job you can go to and be fucked up. I am thankful that we are atleast required to be HIV/STD tested withing 30 days of doing a scene but why no restrictions on the drugs? Is it because the comsumers won’t get the type of scenes that they have become used to? I feel so sad for the girls who have had a hard life and start doing porn and are not strong enough to break the cycles they have been going through all their lives and the porn industry does nothing to regulate it. Even when I am at shoots I hear rumors about other porn girls who are currently in the business and doing so many drugs and doing insane things to themselves and being in and out of the hospital from near death experiences and all the while the person who is telling the story is laughing and they are suppose to be their friend! I just don’t get it. How can people be so callous?

It’s just strange to me…

I never realized what a screwed up industry I was in.

Anyway, I am sorry I just had to say what was on my mind.

My boyfriend just got back in town after 4 days. I feel like everything is out of whack right now. I missed him so much it is crazy! I am so sensitive. It was hard to sleep and relax with him not here. We have been dating for a year and a half and he is almost always home with me. I am happy he is home again now!

While he was away I went to lunch one day with my friend Red Ezra at Wood Ranch and then I went and bought the 2nd season of Nip/Tuck. I began watching it and am now on disk 4 of season 2. I also went a visited a makeup artist I know who just had a baby. It was so precious! OMG!! He was so tiny (just 7 lbs) and so sweet. I bought him a gift over. I also worked on getting some more new pictures over to my website designer for my redesign. I am anxious to see what he comes up with! Other than that I didn’t do much else. I spent a lot of time with Blade and Jade and had to take care of my boyfriends iguanas by feeding them and doing minimal cleaning to their cage. I am a bit afraid of them so I did the best I could. They are smelly creatures!!

Today I am getting my hair trimmed and not sure what else. I am ready for a nice (late) breakfast.

My man went out of town to work on a television show for the sci-fi channel so I was home alone last night. I talked on the phone with my good friend Angie Savage for hours as she told me about a horrific shoot she had yesterday and wished she had shot with me instead of the girls she was hooked up with! She loves me awww… she does! I think the world of her too!! Then I also talked to my friend Jaime Hammer who never ceases to make me laugh! She found some club ad for girls gone wild that had stole a pic of me and her and used it for the main pic! She was really mad and is going to have her attorney call the club who is using the pic. I told her atleast we look hot in the pic!! haha!! Jaime and I are going to go shopping in Friday!! Woo hoo!!

Today I shot for a new up and coming website called glamouredge.com. The shoot went by really fast and was pretty simple. I was impressed that we shot so quickly. Then I went to test drive a new mercedes. I really want to trade my 350z for one so hopefully I can work that out soon. I kind of got ripped off when buying my Nissan and paid way over the sticker price because of credit issues so for the same price I could drive something that is worth the amount I am paying.

I bought the 2nd season of Nip/Tuck and going to start watching it tonight! I watched the whole 1st season in 2 days (13 episodes!!)… I am so addicted!!

Alright guys… that’s all for now! xoxoxo Crissy

Keep an eye out in the members area for when these pics get released!

Anyway, I shot for Matrix content on the 14th and 17th. The shoots went well and I get all the content for my website! I shot on the 14th with Angie Savage and on the 17th with Lisa Daniels. I love it when I get to workl with my friends! The photographer reminded me of Jack Black… so funny! I did 2 girl/girl sets of pics with the other girls and 1 video with each one and about 5 solo sets of pictures! Angie was all over me… it was so cute! Even when we weren’t shooting she was licking my pussy and telling me she loves me!

A few months ago my boyfriend had fallen asleep in bed and as he was snoring away I was surfing the channels because I had insomnia. I am not a T.V. watcher and never get sucked into shows but I came across Nip/Tuck that night and could not stop watching it! I saw maybe 3 episodes and could never remember when to tune in or when it was one so none of them ever really went with the past episode. Well, anyway my boyfriend went out of town for 3 days and I bought the entire 1st season and watched it. 13 episodes in 2 days! I am so addicted to it!

Oh yeah…I have two big shoots with some pretty popular models on Saturday and Sunday but I don’t want to say too much about it until after the shoots! I will get all the content for my site and I know my fans will be very happy!

XOXO
Crissy

I went to the shoot with a bad hangover. I am really not a big drinker and I went to a pool party the other night and tried to out drink everyone!! haha! Another model I know Carli Banks showed up at the party and I was trying to get her to have some drinks with me (I already had 3 small margaritas at this point!) and she said she would do a shot with me. She did a shot of rum and I did a shot of tequila and that just did it! She is such a cute girl!! After the shot I proceeded to drink 3 coronas. I couldn’t help it though because I was just having the best time! I was listening to live music in the garage and I was really feeling it! After I got home I had passionate sex with my honey and it was like the best ever. It felt soooo good having him inside me…. oh my god!

This morning was a whole other story! I actually got sick and had a hard time eating any food in the morning. I ate a little bit here and there and now my appetite is back. I almost called Teanna and said I wasn’t going to make it to the shoot but I told myself I had to! I wanted to shoot with her and I can’t just flake out. I had obligations to do the shoot and I did it and so glad I did! The pics are so hot!

Kisses,

Crissy

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